He Heals the Brokenhearted
My heart was broken when my husband left. He was my closest earthly friend and greatest joy. I sat in my dining room crying, “God, I let him walk into the holy of holies of my life. I shared my soul with him. I trusted him. I gave everything I had for his happiness. Lord, he trampled my soul and mocked the core my being. He walked out on me. How can I survive this broken heart?”
“I understand. Many have walked away from me,” a voice said to my mind. “I opened my heart to have a relationship with man. I gave everything I had. I gave my Son. My only begotten Son and many have rejected Him.”
God the Father understood. He knew what it was like to love someone and have them walk away. He understood my broken heart. He gave more than I was willing to give. He gave His Son.
In the days of grief God’s spirit encompassed my soul with love and comfort beyond anything I had previously known. My self esteem was shattered by the rejection of my husband. I saw myself as unlovable and unattractive. But the spirit of Jesus said, “Don’t you know who you are. You are my princess. You are my bride.”
I wept late into the night. Nothing or no one could console me. I isolated myself from everyone like a wounded animal. Crying, confused and devastated God spoke to my soul saying, “When he walked out on you, he walked out on me. When he broke your heart, he broke my heart. I felt every tear. If you don’t believe me. Look how you feel when your children are hurting.”
As my husband walked away he said, “Your Christianity permeates every part of your being and I can’t live with it.”
He could not love God or me. As God healed my broken heart, He broke the bondage in my soul of what man thinks of me. My self-esteem had been built on what my husband thought of me. If he loved me, thought I was beautiful and respected me I felt good. God rebuilt my self-esteem on what He thought of me. My joy and peace were centered on God, not man.
I sat at the park praying, “God, is there no love, commitment or integrity in this world?”
I had turned to a man to fill my deepest need. God responded in that still small voice saying, “Do you see the sun. It shines because it is the sun. Do you hear the birds sing. They sing because the son is within them. Love is within you. Commitment and integrity are within you.”
I had no control over what others did or thought of me. But I could control what I filled my soul with. I was deeply hurt, yet I chose not to hate. Others could despise and hate me, but that was no reflection of me or who I was. It was a reflection what was within them, not me.
Jesus loved deeply. He knew the pain of a broken heart. “We despised and rejected him–a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our back on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised and we didn’t care. Yet it was our grief he bore, our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was chastised that we might have peace; he was lashed and we were healed! We are the ones who strayed away like sheep! We, who left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet God laid on him the guilt and sins of every one of us!” Isaiah 53: 1-7
The following year I was to work in a shelter for battered women. Hundreds of women came through the shelter each year with broken hearts, dreams and lives. They had been bound by men who annihilated their dignity. They left jobs, homes and all their worldly possessions. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs.
“God is your resource,” I told them. “He will care for your every need. Within you is love, joy, power and peace. The Kingdom of God is within you.”
“Do not be afraid. You will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace. You will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of a wife abandoned by her husband. For your maker will by your husband. The Lord has called you back from your grief; a young wife abandoned by her husband. With great compassion I will gather you. In a moment of anger I turned my face, but with everlasting love I will have pity on you says the Lord.”