We are starting to see all the ads for jewelry, perfume, fancy clothes and special meals at restaurants. It is getting near to that time of year again – St. Valentine’s Day.
I can hear the moaning and groaning already; at least from some of you husbands.
So really, what’s it all about? Is it just another way retailers get us men to go out and spend money?
Before you say, “Not me buddy, I’m too smart to fall for that,” think about what this day really means. I’m not talking about a little known saint and martyr who lived over a thousand years ago, or about your grade school years when you counted the number of cards you got from classmates. I am thinking about that beautiful lady you are married to. What does Valentine’s Day mean to her? Generally speaking, it is a time she thinks of romance, love and sweet words. I am told that inside of every woman is a girl who dreams of a knight who will cherish, protect, and even risk his life for her. Often little girls like to write notes with drawings of flowers and valentines. I haven’t seen little boys doing that. The differences seem to be ingrained in their temperaments.
Let’s face it fellows, women really are “wired” different than us. While we may not think this is important, your wife has a different view. We need to listen to that view. They have a God given need for romance. When we males think of romance, we immediately think of SEX. (I can hear some of you saying, “Now you are starting to make sense”.) I am not putting sex down. But our wives have deeper needs than just sex. They need to feel beautiful, safe, desirable and wanted. They need real intimacy. A woman needs someone she can talk to and feel accepted by. She needs a man who looks at her while listening to her every word. She needs to feel safe sharing her dreams and deepest desires. She needs a husband who will take time to talk with her about things other than the kids grades, their braces or how high the electric bill was last month.
She was created by God, in His image, to make you complete. With that in mind, is one day a year too much to show her how much you love and need her? If you want a marriage that stays strong during the storms of life, set aside special times on a weekly basis for your wife.
You don’t have to buy a diamond necklace or a red convertible to show your wife you love her. Give her your time, a listening ear and an encouraging word. Turn off the cell phones, laptops and don’t talk problems for the evening. Take time to enjoy each other. I am not saying to eliminate the special Valentine’s gifts. But don’t leave out giving the most important gift, yourself. Write down how wonderful she is in a card or letter. Not all of us are good at writing fancy, gushy words, but we can write down the things we appreciate about our wives. All of us can write something from our hearts that simply conveys the message, “I love and need you. You are beautiful to me.”
Take your wife out. If you can’t afford an expensive meal, share a desert. Take time to really listen to her when she talks to you. This is a wonderful time to take the opportunity to pray for her and with her. Thank God for this gift He gave you and ask Him to bless her and give her the desires of her heart. That could be one of the very best St. Valentine’s Day gifts any you could give your wife. Rekindle that spark that was there back when you first met. And even if your marriage is already wonderful, this will make it even stronger and better able to withstand the test and trials that come to all relationships.
Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world is a choir–and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios (music). Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover–come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove– leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing. — Song of Solomon 2: 10-14, (taken from The Message, by Eugene Peterson)
Five Tips To Improve Your Marriage
- Look at the things that are good about your wife.
- Write all these things down in a Valentine’s Card.
- Listen to her as a friend without judgment.
- Praise and encourage her.
- Surprise her with flowers.